Random Ramblings

I'm at work. There is no work. I'm alone the entire morning. This will be my distraction from... well..... never mind.



I miss the beach. I want to go back. It's starting to get cool, and it's even cooler at the beach. I love it, though. I feel totally comfortable there. I feel free. Stupid desert.



I'm going to save up money and head out east. You all live in the east. I'm the only one out here in California (West coast represent!! lol). Well, aside from Ellie. :P So yes, I hope to go by the end of the year.... or maybe not. I'm cold now, I can't imagine how cold I would be in your weather. I really can't.



I took my little cousins to see Jackass Number 2. It was..... not pretty. At all. I don't usually like to watch comedies that have no... wit, or thought behind them. It was nice, though, to just sit and react for a couple of hours instead of just sit and think. I think too much.

My cousin told me I was getting fatter. >=( I didn't eat menudo or posole or tamales at my cousin's birthday party. I did have cake, though.



I was going to buy photoshop, but I didn't see the point since I don't have a camera.



I'm really upset at a few people; people whom I thought were my friends.... Kelly, "who" or "whom?" I never know when to use which. Anyway, it sucks that they just basically desert me. And they do it at a time when I need them the most. When I told my "best friend" about my S.I.'s, she was surprised.... yeah, I haven't seen her since that day. Empty promises of coming up to visit me was all I got.

Shit got hard earlier this year when my dad got sick, so my cousin kicks me out of her house because she thinks I'm having sex with her husband (btw, my cousin is a lesbian, and has a girlfriend). So I move back home with my parents.

Things are better once my dad is home (by the way, he's great now. Just having problems with his hands, but his lungs are in good condition. Thank you all for your support!!) So yeah, my family and I are a bit more relieved; feeling good. Then more shit happens, and I'm confused, and I can't sort things out, and I'm drinking way too much and using my D.L. for something it shouldn't be used for, at a friend's house.... that's the last time I see this supposed "good" friend.

I feel like shit at this point.... then it happens again, but by now I don't care. Then things start to pick up for me. I'm actually feeling better about me. Unfortunately, shit started to resurface about a month ago. When will it end?

It's shit like this that makes me trust my friends even less. Although they may say that they'll be there no matter what.... I mean, that's what the other people said, too. That didn't stop them. If a friend is in need, why would you just go and leave them like that? At a time when they MOST need you? That's fucked up.......... not cool. I'm learning my lesson, though (I guess).

Maybe it's me.

Probably, it's me.

Too coincidental not to be.



If it weren't for the fact that I love my family, I swear I would move to Nebraska... hell, Australia!



I hate myspace. It's the devil. I'm on it practically every day, checking to see if I got any new messages, any new comments, any interesting bulletins (which are mostly my cousins talking back and forth to their friends and annoy the hell out of me because they're flooding my bulletin space... I guess mine aren't any better, though). When I'm bored, I'll change my profile. It's a waste of time, really. What did I do before myspace, before the internet? I should paint, or draw. I haven't drawn a portrait in years. I don't even think I can do it again, but I should try. If I move to L.A. (that's seeming more unlikely now) I hope we have no internet. Then maybe I can take those couple of hours that I spend online and do something worth while.

I do like deviantART, though. I post on it. That's somewhat creative, right?



I was watching Xmen (the cartoon series) the other day with Sam and Joe on YouTube. They totally destroyed Rogue's character in the movie. I was so disappointed. I LOVED Xmen when I was a kid, and Rogue was my absolute favorite character. I loved Gambit, too, but Rogue... I wanted to be Rogue. She was sexy, and had a cool accent, and had cool hair (lol) and she didn't take shit from anyone. Who is this Rogue that they decided to put in the movie? Why did they totally dismiss the history that she and Mystique had together? And why Bobby and not Gambit? That sucks. What happened to Jubilee? And that dude that has the same powers as Mystique? I forgot his name, but he talks like a rat. Yeah, what's up with that?

I like Jean's character in the movie. I especially love her alter ego.

Cyclops is a wimp.



I was going to buy a Sublime hoodie last weekend. It was too thin, so I just got a Sublime tshirt that is too big for me.



What would you do if the chair you're currently sitting on turned into a horse and started galloping away?



Sorry for this blog. I've been kind of a downer lately.




I'll probably blog again by the end of the afternoon...


Later.