I Don't Care If You're Old And Incontinent

I try to tell myself that age doesn’t matter; that it’s the person inside the body that counts. Age only tells how old the body is, not what the eyes have seen, or what the mind knows, or the personality it holds. Still, living in America in the second millennium, these things matter. Who are you wearing, where are you getting your haircut? Are you remembering to exfoliate? Time to take my 11-year-old to the tanning salon. We’re so consumed with our looks, and our age! Paris is the topic of discussion; The Oscar nominees, Angelina’s newly adopted child, the new pill that will help you lose weight without changing your diet or getting off the couch. I feel like our generation has lost…. Substance. We’re all so jaded and content with having washboard abs and good hair. We care only about ourselves, and the world that revolves around us.

Of course, I can’t speak for everyone. There are people out there who were fortunate enough not to grow up in a shallow society. But are these people better off? Will they be left unprepared for what the world will spit at them?

What happened to fighting for rights, giving a damn about your neighbor, doing things for other people without considering how you will benefit from it? I can’t say I’m completely innocent and that none of this applies to me. I do get up 10 minutes early to do my makeup. I worry about what other people think of the way I look. Not always. I wear what I want when I’m in the mood. I’ll go out with my hair all messed up.

My mom and I have had many arguments about this topic. I would go out with her on an errand; just get up and go. No makeup, hair up in a ponytail, t-shirt, jeans, and chucks. She would look at me; I knew it was coming, but I wouldn’t be the one to start it. She would look at me and say; “You could at least fix yourself up a little bit! Put some makeup on, put some earrings on, a skirt, sandals…” I would look at her, infuriated at the fact that she would say this to me, even though I knew it was coming. I would say, “Who am I trying to look good for? You? You see me without makeup all the time. Who am I trying to impress?” Society, of course.

Because I was always told how to dress, how to wear my hair, how to greet people with a smile, and don’t say any negative things directly to them because it’s easier when things are kept quiet and people get along. Because I was told to follow the crowd, I have become a victim of it all. I notice when people have something in their teeth, or when they could do something better with their hair. They’re bad thoughts, and I’m glad to say that I am turning it all around. I am learning to accept things and people for what they are, including myself. Slowly, but surely, I will be able to walk down Las Vegas Blvd and do yoga right there on the sidewalk. I will be able to go up to a stranger that I find attractive and kiss him flat on the lips, tongue and all. I will be able to enjoy the company of others, despite their age or the number of wrinkles on their foreheads. I’ve gotten so far already, and feel that I am very close to doing all/any of this.

Damn kids and their MTV.

This post sponsored by Amanda Palmer's blog.

Trace The Moment For Forever

I am at work on a Saturday morning. I can't really say I'm working, because the lines are dead, the work is done, and I'm not in the mood to vacuum just yet. Listening to music, chillin' with no shoes on, and now blogging. I don't usually mind working Saturdays, but I had plans this weekend (duh) and work is kind of interfering with them a bit. Ah, well, at least last night was fun.

I was actually pretty good last night. I did drink a bit much, and am feeling a bit hung over now, but I can't complain.... hehe.

So now for the difficult part: What to blog about?! I don't have anything of any interest to say, but of course, blogging isn't solely for the amusement of others, right? So I can go ahead and say whatever it is that I want to say, and nobody can tell me that it is unnecessary because it is MY blog, and if I write it, it is necessary to some degree. No, I don't have anything deep to discuss, but shallow can be okay once in a while.... which brings me to my shallowness, which has many different meanings to it. Ahem. Oh, yes. I'm pretty dense sometimes. I don't catch on quickly. I'm not witty or smart (shut up. don't say it, I'm not) and I just can't figure out some of the most obvious things around me. I need bluntness and straight-forwardness. Those nesses are clear for me, and I don't go on wandering in my bubble of ignorance. Of course, I've been told I have selective hearing, so maybe I choose not to hear these signs. Or maybe, I see, hear, and feel it all around me, but, for whatever reason that I may or may not be aware of, I choose to ignore them because sometimes, ignorance is bliss, and sometimes it's easier to just pretend, happy end, and sometimes you need several commas in a sentence to make your point, and to give off the sense of rambling that is sure to be clear by the end of this sentence, which isn't coming now, but now. But the choices I make, whether I want to hear something or not, believe it or not, are up to my personalities. I'm at a constant battle with myself, it seems like; two sides fighting to take over, and yet even a third in me witnessing the movie that's being created. They're in a bar fight (great analogy, right?) and I (whoever "I" am) am the bartender trying to break it up. I am the batter in a cage trying to hit the baseballs before they hit me, but the bat is too heavy to lift and swing properly. I am the elevator that holds the group of people rushing out to go to lunch, or who are going home for the day. I am the barricade that pushes back the fans that are shoving each other to touch their idol. I am a jester, able to easily juggle a few swords, but I continue to receive more swords, and rings, and flaming torches. Scatter-brained, I think. If I sound out of it, I believe you are correct. My body is still containing traces of liquor and I can feel it rise to my head. I can go for a cigarette about now, but that will spiral me down further into my dementia...........

.............I'm totally fucking kidding. I love you all! If you love me (Mr.), say it.



Btw, I love theStart's new album.